We have an innate ability to create and achieve goals, but as adults, we forgot that goals can change our life. We are born with the incredible goal of learning to walk. Babies know that this specific goal means putting one foot in front of the other without holding on. Babies try to acquire this goal by around their first birthday. They follow a progress map: roll over and crawl, then pull to stand and walk assisted, and finally walk unassisted. Infants are not perfect on any of these steps, but they don’t quit. As life consumes us, we forget that we were born with the skill of creating goals and instead we have a reactionary approach to life. It is time for us, even as parents with a full plate, to become intentional by setting goals.
I have cared for too many children at the hospital who have parents that are just trying to hang on. The parents bounce from one appointment to the next just like a pinball and become consumed with their child while forgetting to live on purpose. A pinball sometimes lands on the magic spot and lots of points are acquired, but other times the ball is knocked around by the flippers and eventually goes through slot losing the turn. The pinball has no strategy. It aimlessly bounces around the playfield. When we get overwhelmed with life, we bounce like a pinball and soon forget about goals.
There are three steps to making any goal happen: Believe, Commit, and Plan to Fail.
- Believe: A goal starts with a dream that develops into a deep-seated belief. This might not be a belief that is held by anyone other than you. For a goal to come true, only you need to believe it can happen. The belief is very specific and can be described with great detail. Putting a time constraint on a goal gives our belief even more specificity.
- Commit: To achieve a goal, you need an unwavering commitment to make it happen. The roadmap doesn’t need to be clear, but you need to be able to maintain your inner belief that you are going to get there when things are easy AND when things are hard. Failure is part of the process of achieving a goal and when this happens, it doesn’t feel good. People who don’t reach their goal didn’t commit to the belief and when the “going got tough”, they gave up.
- Plan to Fail: To reach a goal, you just need to continue to take steps. Expect, though, that failure will happen. These are opportunities to learn and should be welcomed, not avoided. When setting a goal, we may not be able to fully map out the plan to get us there, but if we start, we can continue to rely on our commitment to figure out what should be the next step to try.
Parents worry about their children. Parents with a child with a chronic condition worry even more. However, when we think “our child may die”, we stop living. Thriving in life is exactly what our children need. Parents can do a better job of caring for their child when they feel complete and full. In addition, children need parents who accomplish goals so that they can learn anything is possible. They can build confidence by watching their confident parents.
What is your goal that you are going to believe, commit, and plan to fail at so that you can start to thrive?
