Chaos. That is the word that best described my former life as a parent with medically challenged children. The chaos came from the extra responsibilities needed to keep my kids healthy such as medical appointment, ordering supplies, and refilling medications on top of the typical life responsibilities of work and maintaining a household. Every day I was playing a game of whack-a-mole and never knew how my day would end, but I was always certain that I would never have time for myself and I never did.
I would wake up each morning trying to muster the strength to meet the challenges that I knew would face me that day. My first thought was always, “I wonder what fires I am going to put out today.”. Each day ended with reflecting on each headache that I had endured that day. I would think:
This was another bad day.
My days are crazy.
I can’t get everything done.
There is too much on my plate.
I am stuck in this life.
My brain would spend the night reflecting on these thoughts. Sleep was restless and I would wake up stressed and unmotivated to get out of bed. I had no personal goals and I felt defeated before the day had even started.
Our work works to find evidence to support the thoughts it is producing. If we think, “This was another bad day” then our brain is focused on every bad thing that happened during the day. Our brain becomes blinded to the good things because that would not support the thought. This is knowledge is exciting and provides parents with the possibility to improve their life. If our brain’s thought is “This was a great day” then our brain is focused on every good thing and it changes how we feel. The way we act during the day is the result of how we feel.
Learning to change my thoughts significantly changed my life. My first thought when I wake up in the morning is, “Today is going to be a great day.”. I spend quiet time in the morning meditating, journaling and reading. I start my day with feeling energized and calm. Each day now ends with thoughts such as:
This was a good day.
I can successfully manage my days.
Everything that needs to get done will be done.
My plate is full of the things I enjoy.
I love my life.
Fulfilling. That is the word that best describes my current life still as the mother of children with chronic medical problems. I have goals that I have achieved and continue to work to achieve including professional and personal goals. I have meaningful relationships with my children, significant other, friends, and colleagues. I am grateful for the life I was given. The things I have been able to achieve have been the direct result of redirecting my brain and working to collect evidence to support my new and improved thoughts.
What are your thoughts about your current life?