Maureen Michele

Tapping into Resilience

Erica Lambert — Sun, 08 Oct 2023 04:47:04 +0000

Resilience is as crucial as love and understanding. Parents are not just caretakers, but they also serve as the front-line defense for their children against the trials and tribulations of the world. Consequently, the ability to bounce back, to maintain emotional strength in the face of adversity, becomes a pivotal trait for any parent. For parents, resilience is no longer an option but a requirement; a trait that is crucial to their role.

Caregiver burnout can be particularly challenging for parents of chronically ill children. These parents often face constant stress, uncertainty, and emotional turmoil as they navigate the complexities of their child’s illness. The demands of caregiving, medical appointments, and the emotional toll of watching their child suffer can lead to overwhelming burnout. However, it’s important to note that resilience plays a significant role in helping these parents cope with the unique challenges they face. Resilient parents of chronically ill children are not only better equipped to manage their own stress but also to provide the necessary support and stability for their children. They serve as beacons of strength, demonstrating to their children the power of resilience in the face of adversity, ultimately nurturing their child’s own ability to confront life’s challenges with courage and determination.

Resilience is not innate – it can be cultivated. Being a resilient parent does not mean being immune to stress or hardship, it means managing those stressors and recovering from setbacks in a way that is healthy and beneficial to both you and your children. Resilient parents are able to model coping strategies and emotional strength, skills that are invaluable to children.

So, how can parents embody and imbue this resilience in their daily lives? What are the strategies that can help parents harness their emotional strength? In this blog post, we will delve into these questions and provide actionable steps that parents can take to strengthen their resilience.

Foster Emotional Intelligence:
Emotional intelligence, the ability to understand, manage, and express one’s emotions, is key to resilience. It enables parents to regulate their reactions to stress, preventing them from being consumed by negative emotions. It allows for open and healthy communication with their children, promoting an environment of understanding and empathy.
Cultivate Optimism:
Optimism, a positive outlook on life and its challenges, is a cornerstone of resilience. Optimistic parents are able to view setbacks as temporary obstacles rather than permanent roadblocks. They perceive hardships as learning opportunities, promoting a growth mindset in their children.
Practice Mindful Parenting:
Mindful parenting involves staying present and engaged in your interactions with your children, rather than being preoccupied with the past or future. It enhances emotional awareness, promoting more thoughtful and compassionate reactions to challenges.
Maintain a Support Network:
Having a robust support network of friends, family, and professionals can significantly bolster resilience. This network provides emotional support, practical assistance, and diverse perspectives that can help parents navigate difficult situations.
Prioritize Self-Care:
Resilient parents understand that they can’t pour from an empty cup. They prioritize their mental and physical well-being, ensuring they have the energy and emotional capacity to care for their children.

As a pediatrician and a mother to a chronically ill child, I have witnessed firsthand the incredible power of resilience. My own journey has taught me that resilience is not a one-time achievement but a lifelong commitment to growth and strength. It’s a journey that begins with acknowledging the challenges and hardships, yet finding the inner strength to persevere. It’s about being there for our children, not just as caregivers but as a source of unwavering support and hope.

In my medical practice, I have had the privilege of working with countless families facing the trials of chronic illness. I’ve seen parents who, despite the odds, rise above the daily struggles with grace and resilience, inspiring me and others around them. These parents have taught me that resilience is not just a trait we possess; it’s a gift we give to our children. It’s a legacy we pass on, equipping them with the tools they need to face life’s challenges with courage and determination.

In closing, I want to remind you that as parents, you have an incredible capacity for resilience within you. It may not always be easy, and there will be moments of doubt, fear, and exhaustion. Resilience is a journey, and every step you take towards it is a step towards a brighter future for both you and your child. It is the bedrock on which parents can build a supportive, nurturing environment for their children. By adopting these strategies, parents can not only enhance their own resilience but also empower their children with the skills and mindset to thrive in the face of adversity.

What are the things that make you a resilient parent?

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Melodies of Strength

Erica Lambert — Sun, 01 Oct 2023 04:22:56 +0000

Music has always been a source of peace for me, a symphony of emotions and experiences, but bluegrass music has never been a genre I have ever felt particularly drawn to. When I decided to attend the International Bluegrass Music Association festival, my intention was more to enjoy the outdoors on a beautiful fall day rather than to lose myself in the music. I wasn’t expecting to find joy in the musical part of the experience. However, what unfolded was nothing short of magical. The vibrant strains of a fiddle, the rhythmic beats of a banjo, and the rich chords of a guitar are the essence of a bluegrass festival. Strings of a fiddle, beats of a banjo, and the resonant chord of a guitar are the hallmarks of a bluegrass music festival. The foot-tapping rhythm and soulful lyrics can take you on a journey, connecting you with an inexplicably profound sense of life in its many shades. Much like this unique genre of music, parenting a child with chronic illness is a journey full of ups and downs, crescendos and decrescendos, but ultimately, full of love and strength.

The things I witnessed from this bluegrass festival served as poignant reminders of the lessons I’ve learned as a mother to a chronically ill child. Here are a few pearls of wisdom from the vibrant and spirited world of a bluegrass music festival:

Every Instrument Has Its Role to Play
In a bluegrass band, every instrument—whether it be the fiddle, banjo, guitar, or mandolin—each has a unique and irreplaceable role. Similarly, in the healthcare arena, every professional, from doctors and nurses to therapists and nutritionists, contributes to the well-being of your child. Learning to coordinate, communicate, and collaborate with them can lead to harmonious outcomes.
Improvisation is Key
Bluegrass music is renowned for its improvisation. The musicians read the crowd, sense the mood, and spontaneously create beautiful music that resonates with the moment. I watched this happen. Parenting a chronically ill child also requires this knack for improvisation. Plans may not always pan out, treatments may need adjustments, and life can throw unexpected curveballs. Being flexible helps to navigate these challenges with grace and resilience.
The Show Must Go On
A bluegrass festival is a grand spectacle of relentless passion. Attendees came from all over the country to participate and nothing was going to stop them. The show goes on, irrespective of minor hiccups or major downpours. One singer was recovering from bronchitis, but he sang anyway…and it was awesome! One mandolin player was late for his band’s performance, but he jumped on the stage and started strumming even though it was the middle of the song…and it sounded perfect. The spirit of resilience forms the core of life as a parent with chronically ill children. Despite the obstacles and setbacks, it’s crucial to keep moving forward, keeping hope alive and your child’s spirits high.
Embrace the Community
A bluegrass festival is not just about the music; it’s about the community. It’s about dancing together, singing together, and forging unforgettable experiences together. Similarly, don’t isolate yourself in your journey of parenting a chronically ill child. Reach out to support groups, engage with other parents facing similar challenges, and lean on your family and friends. This community can be your most reliable comfort zone, offering emotional, mental, and practical support.
Find Joy in the Journey
Amidst the toe-tapping rhythms and soul-stirring lyrics, bluegrass festivals encapsulate the sheer joy of living in the moment. I witnessed people clapping, swaying, and dancing forgetting that anyone else was even around. It was sheer happiness! As a parent, it’s essential to find joy and happiness amidst the challenges. Celebrate small victories, cherish precious moments with your child, and remember to take care of yourself too.

As Marc Chagall once said, “In our life, there is a single color, as on an artist’s palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love.” Like the vibrant palette of a bluegrass festival, life, even with its challenges, is a beautiful composition.

In the face of chronic illness, your love, resilience, and strength are the most potent notes in your child’s symphony of life. May this melody resonate with hope, courage, and an unwavering spirit, creating a masterpiece of a life well-lived and well-loved.

What lessons of resiliency can you find in your day?

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From Scarcity to Abundance

Erica Lambert — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 03:44:45 +0000

“I’m running out of time.”

This was a thought that I recently caught my brain telling me. My youngest child experienced difficult times through high school. The isolation of COVID added a layer of challenges to an introvert who isn’t comfortable in her own skin. I have tried to help her develop autonomy and confidence throughout high school years by offering support, arranging therapy appointments, refilling anti-depressants, and communicating with the school. She started senior year and her self-confidence still needs work.

As a mother, I will be throwing my child into the world after high school. I’m running out of time to help. She plans to attend college, but I’m nervous that her anxiety isn’t controlled and she won’t be able overcome the obstacles thrown at her. Here comes the thought again…I’m running out of time to help. She wants to pursue a degree in environmental sciences, but I’m concerned her confidence isn’t strong enough for success in the next phase of life. And yet again…I’m running out of time to help.

Our thoughts create our emotions and feelings are what drive our actions. The recurring thought about time makes me feel panicked and desperate. I found myself questioning the therapist and investigating other therapy opportunities. I noticed myself agreeing with a psychiatrist who was offering to make FOUR changes to a medication plan. I was not enjoying the milestones of my child’s senior year and I realized that this was the last time I would experience these joys as a parent. This created even more panic and less joy. I was in a vicious cycle.

Actions taken out of panic and desperation are much different than actions taken from feelings of love and abundance. I am lucky enough to know this to be true and to have the tools to help catch myself to guide my ship back on course. My love for my child is unquestionable, but I needed to change my thought about time to provide me the comfort of abundance. I needed a new thought that I believed.

“A lot can happen in a year.”

This was my new thought that created a sense of calmness. I absolutely believe it and it allows me to feel the abundance of time rather than the scarcity of it. I can take a breath and realize that aggressive medication changes aren’t necessary, but instead I can pause and begin brainstorming with my child about less desperate solutions.

I noticed that when my thought changed, my brain was telling me other ideas to further support my feelings of love and abundance. I know that my child will constantly grow and evolve just like every human. The growth during senior year does not stop after graduation. There is plenty of time. Enjoying the events of senior year with the love and support of her mother will help to build confidence. I have the perfect amount of time.

What actions are you taking out of desperation rather than love and abundance?

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Transforming Chaos to Fulfillment

Erica Lambert — Sun, 13 Aug 2023 05:02:26 +0000

Chaos. That is the word that best described my former life as a parent with medically challenged children. The chaos came from the extra responsibilities needed to keep my kids healthy such as medical appointment, ordering supplies, and refilling medications on top of the typical life responsibilities of work and maintaining a household. Every day I was playing a game of whack-a-mole and never knew how my day would end, but I was always certain that I would never have time for myself and I never did.

I would wake up each morning trying to muster the strength to meet the challenges that I knew would face me that day. My first thought was always, “I wonder what fires I am going to put out today.”. Each day ended with reflecting on each headache that I had endured that day. I would think:

This was another bad day.

My days are crazy.

I can’t get everything done.

There is too much on my plate.

I am stuck in this life.

My brain would spend the night reflecting on these thoughts. Sleep was restless and I would wake up stressed and unmotivated to get out of bed. I had no personal goals and I felt defeated before the day had even started.

Our work works to find evidence to support the thoughts it is producing. If we think, “This was another bad day” then our brain is focused on every bad thing that happened during the day. Our brain becomes blinded to the good things because that would not support the thought. This is knowledge is exciting and provides parents with the possibility to improve their life. If our brain’s thought is “This was a great day” then our brain is focused on every good thing and it changes how we feel. The way we act during the day is the result of how we feel.

Learning to change my thoughts significantly changed my life. My first thought when I wake up in the morning is, “Today is going to be a great day.”. I spend quiet time in the morning meditating, journaling and reading. I start my day with feeling energized and calm. Each day now ends with thoughts such as:

This was a good day.

I can successfully manage my days.

Everything that needs to get done will be done.

My plate is full of the things I enjoy.

I love my life.

Fulfilling. That is the word that best describes my current life still as the mother of children with chronic medical problems. I have goals that I have achieved and continue to work to achieve including professional and personal goals. I have meaningful relationships with my children, significant other, friends, and colleagues. I am grateful for the life I was given. The things I have been able to achieve have been the direct result of redirecting my brain and working to collect evidence to support my new and improved thoughts.

What are your thoughts about your current life?

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Embrace Life’s Unpredictability

Erica Lambert — Mon, 31 Jul 2023 03:34:52 +0000

Our life is constantly changing. No two days are exactly the same. Sometimes the sun is out and other days, it is rainy. Sometimes it snows and other days, it is windy. Just like the weather, humans are constantly growing and evolving. We have a choice, though, in how this happens.

Parents can feel overwhelmed with the unpredictability of a child’s actions or behavior. A simple trip to the grocery store can quickly turn into a nightmare when a child throws a fit because they want a candy bar. This unpredictability becomes more complex when a child has a medical challenge such as autism or Down syndrome. A parent is left feeling helpless and defeated with thoughts that they cannot change their life.

Life, though, can change. Our journey in life is like riding around in a car. When we believe that life can’t change, we are in the driver’s seat, but our hands are not on the steering wheel. We are a passenger in a car that is driving itself. The car is swerving and turning without any input from us. The ride is frightening as we watch, hoping we don’t wreck. The belief that life can change is what allows us to grab the wheel of the car and lead it down a path. There is still some unpredictability to the journey such as a police officer hiding around a turn, but we no longer are afraid because we are in control and going the speed limit.

Changing our life is in our control. Grabbing the wheel of the car involves learning to set goals, create habits, and be aware of thoughts and feelings. This takes practice and change can be slow, but patience can result in significant progress if we commit to moving in the right direction. The grocery store trip no longer needs to be a nightmare, but can turn into time to enjoy your child who is getting to explore something new.

Learning these tools changed my life. I am proof that life can change. My life is very different compared to a few years ago. I have big goals that I am committed to achieve. I feel fulfilled and enjoy the relationships that are important to me. I am organized in how I use my time and I am very aware of my thoughts. Sadly, the conditions of my life haven’t changed and my children’s health challenges will be constantly present. I still hope for a magic cure to Kyleigh’s diabetes and Wren’s depression and anxiety. I still worry about my children, but my life changed when I stopped letting “worry” drive the car and instead I took hold of the steering wheel.

We are never stuck in life. The conditions of life may never change, but how we think, feel, and respond to them are in our control. The results that are created when we take charge and drive the car can be amazing. Our brain can work against us, but it can become an incredible gift if we learn to control it. This is how life changes. This is how we grab the steering wheel.

Who is driving your car?

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The Importance of Disagreements

Erica Lambert — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 04:51:08 +0000

My dad taught me to avoid arguing. He was a yeller. There was no doubt when my dad was mad. When my brothers and sister and I would argue as kids, my dad would step in. His booming voice made even the neighborhood kids shake. This consequence as a child taught me that arguments would result in fear. I don’t like to be afraid so I avoid arguments.

Disagreements, though, are important in many relationships that we have throughout our life. Disagreements with a significant other, friends, or colleagues provides us with the ability to deepen a relationship, expand our thoughts, or discover new perspectives. We create shallow, superficial relationships when we impede the ability to debate thoughts.

When Kyleigh’s blood sugar is crazy, it impacts her emotions. She becomes very easily frustrated and quite irritable. Over the years, I noticed that the blood sugar swings often result in an argument with me, but never anyone else. Her frustration leads her to quickly disagreeing with me. The pattern of behavior made me sad and disappointed. As her mother, I felt like she should hold me in place of reverence. She should respect me more than others because I was the one who brought her into this world. What I now understand, though, is that is exactly the reason why she was lashing out at only me.

To speak up and disagree or to verbally express frustration takes courage and safety. Courage is necessary when sharing a dissenting view or personal emotions because it creates vulnerability. We might be sharing thoughts that may trigger emotions from others and result in criticism. Being ready with armor of courage allows us to disagree. Even with courage, though, an individual won’t disagree without feeling safe. They need to feel that their relationship is solid enough that a dissenting opinion will not disrupt their connection, but rather could make it stronger.

Kyleigh’s blood sugar disagreements were directed towards me out of love and respect. The impact of her blood sugars created the feeling of courage, but her sense of safety came from feeling loved. She knew I would love her unconditionally. This environment of unconditional love gave her the safety to express her emotions when it became extremely difficult to control. She maintained composure with others because she didn’t feel the same safety.

It continues to be my job as a parent to teach her how to disagree effectively even during times when diabetes makes it challenging. It starts with courage and safety, but a sense of calm and the ability to listen are also components of a valuable disagreement. Being curious and open-minded allows us to objectively explore the opinions of others especially when sharing thoughts on someone’s emotions. It is my hope, though, that maintaining unconditional love as a parent during disagreements with my children will instill peaceful confidence instead of fear allowing them to argue effectively and not avoid a future disagreement.

Do you give yourself permission to disagree? Are you children able to disagree?

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Finding Peace and Confidence

Erica Lambert — Mon, 10 Jul 2023 03:42:57 +0000

Unanswered questions become part of life when parenting a chronically ill child. When Kyleigh was diagnosed with diabetes, she quickly had the goal of getting an insulin pump to transition from insulin shots to the pump. At each endocrinology appointment, we would ask, ”When can Kyleigh transition to a pump?”.

Each time the response was the same, “I don’t know. Let’s just see how her blood sugars do.”.

There were criteria that needed to be met to transition to a pump, but an exact date and time that it would be safe to transition remained uncertain. Each unanswered question from Kyleigh’s doctor led to discomfort and disappointment and we could have easily given up asking or trying for the pump.

The future of our child regardless of their health issue is never in our control. Sometimes it is expected that questions are left unanswered. We ask questions such as “What’s the next treatment?” or “What happens if this class intervention doesn’t work?” or “When will we be able to sleep through the night?” and we don’t gain clarity because of the unpredictability of chronic illnesses. As parents, living with uncertainty is uncomfortable, but it is a necessary part of life.

The twists and turns of a child’s medical journey can sometimes be out of our control. We need to be cautious, though, that the known lack of control doesn’t turn into defeat. I was recently discussing a classic psychology study by Dr. Seligman in which dogs were put in different circumstances and given an electric shock. The group of dogs who inferred that they did not have control of the shock, gave up and didn’t try to escape. The conversation about this study reminded me that as parents, we, too, can experience this behavior of learned helplessness. I could have easily become one of Seligman’s dogs who gave up when things seemed out of my control.

Becoming defeated by uncertainty can destroy our confidence. The job of advocacy is an important task when we are parenting a child with chronic needs. Advocacy can only be successfully accomplished with confidence. If I allowed myself to be defeated by the unanswered timing of Kyleigh’s pump, I would have stopped asking and lost my confidence in advocating for Kyleigh in the physician’s office and in other areas like school accommodations.

We maintain self-confidence when we maintain awareness and acceptance. Since our emotions are created by our thoughts, the first step is awareness of the ideas leading to feeling defeated. Thoughts such as “That was a stupid question” or “I should have never asked because I knew the answer” need to be recognized so we can intentionally work on halting and changing our thinking.

Acceptance of an uncertain path forward also works to maintain our confidence. I didn’t know when Kyleigh would get a pump, but I knowing it would eventually happen gave me the confidence to continue to ask about it at each visit. Focusing on things that are in our control and accepting the uncertain things that we cannot control is the key to finding peace and confidence.

What are the unanswered questions about your child’s health that you need to accept?

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Unleashing the Power of Awareness

Erica Lambert — Sun, 18 Jun 2023 05:05:51 +0000

Our brain’s job is to think and it accomplishes this duty by delivering more than 100,000 thoughts every day. Our thoughts make us feel and our emotions drive our actions. It becomes understandable that our thoughts are very important when we are working towards a specific outcome in our life. Thoughts are the beginning of a powerful cascade. Thinking, though, is very different than awareness of thought. Changing the outcome of the cascade occurs when we change what has initiated it, but we can only work to change what our mind is thinking when we are aware of our thoughts.

Imagine you were standing on a hill overlooking a very busy highway. The speed limit is 70 and you are watching as the cars whiz by. The stream of cars looks like a blur because they are going so fast and you don’t have time to focus on the details of the passing vehicles. This is thinking. Now imagine that you are standing on the hill and waving a flag to make the cars slow down. The cars slow to a crawl and you notice some cars are blue and others are red with stripes. This is awareness.

Kyleigh was scheduled for the SATs when I received a panicked call from her while I was at work. Through a voice of panic, she asked, “Mom, did you apply for accommodations for me?”. My heart sank. Kyleigh had been diagnosed with diabetes 4 years prior and required accommodations for standardized tests because high and low blood sugars made her loopy. The task of applying for accommodations did not even cross my mind. I immediately felt like I had let my daughter down, but I didn’t want Kyleigh know that I had failed. Feigning confidence, I said, “Let me call them, Kyleigh. It will be fine.”.

I did call and it wasn’t fine. I couldn’t focus at work. I cried when I was home. During the days following, I didn’t spend time with my kids and I ignored the items on my calendar. I was sabotaging my life and I didn’t really understand why. I just felt like I was worthless.

Getting out of this funk didn’t need time, it needed awareness. My brain was busy giving me plenty of thoughts about my subpar parenting skills, but I wasn’t aware of them. The thoughts were making me feel terrible which was causing me to sabotage life. I needed to become aware of my thoughts. I needed to wave the flag on the hill and pause to pay attention to ideas that my mind was creating. This is the critical first step in being able to create the desired results in your life. Negative thoughts can be halted and changed, but only if awareness occurs.

Awareness of your mind is a skill that needs to be practiced. It is helpful to write thoughts down to be able to visualize them without judgment. This practice takes time, but it is ultimately time well invested into being the best version of ourselves.

When was the last time you slowed the traffic of your mind to bring awareness to your thoughts?

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The Wins that Matter

Erica Lambert — Mon, 05 Jun 2023 04:56:05 +0000

I recently closed out my 29-year career in the Army and this had me doing a lot of reflecting. I have worked throughout my entire life to have a successful career in medicine. This realization has made me think about the term “success”. What is success? What would I consider to be a successful doctor and military officer? What would I consider to be success as a mother? What is personal success?

My thoughts about the word “success” were frightening to me because I immediately began thinking of people like Oprah Winfrey, General Collin Powell and Michael Jordan. Success made me think about awards and financial status and television appearances. I associated the word “success” with fame and it became unobtainable especially when I was thinking about it in terms of my maternal role.

Merriam-Webster defines success as “favorable or desired outcome”. This definition gave me feeling comfort because I realized that success doesn’t need to be on a large scale. When we start looking, we can find evidence of success in many aspects of our life. I have had successful meetings with my team at work. I have been successful in correctly diagnosing a patient or lecturing medical students. I have successfully completed half-marathons and experienced successful appointments with my children. These favorable outcomes help us move our life forward.

Goals keep us forward focused and serve as a compass in our life pointing us in the direction we want to move. Success and failure are simply categories of data to determine if we need to adjust the actions needed to achieve our goals. If we do something well, we feel the excitement of success and repeat those actions. If actions don’t work, we feel the discomfort of failure and we try another set of actions. Success isn’t fame, but simply, success is the “wins” column in the game of life.

What belongs in the “wins” column in my role as a mother of children with health issues? There is not a cure for Type 1 diabetes so the goal is managing and controlling these challenges. When my children were younger, the day-to-day management was dependent on me. I could easily define success as helping Kyleigh stay within her blood sugar range. My children are older now and manage their diagnoses with more independent, but my goal is to be a mother with unconditional love who can help her children be healthy, happy, and productive. I still have successes and failures as a parent working towards this goal.

I confidently put a check in my “wins” column when my children know they are loved. When Kyleigh calls upset because she is running out of insulin supplies and can’t get a hold of someone to help, I am fully present to listen to her vent and help her brainstorm solutions. She knows I love her. Being fully present is success.

What is your goal as a parent? When do you put a check in your “wins” column?

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Processing Parental Pain

Erica Lambert — Sun, 21 May 2023 04:38:05 +0000

I have practiced medicine for many years and have immobilized broken bones, stitched open wounds, and sent patients to the operating room for surgeons to perform appendectomies. I have become good at diagnosing and treating pain. I, though, was terrible at diagnosing and treating my own pain.

The moment that Kyleigh was diagnosed with diabetes, life changed. From that point forward, life would be filled with thoughts of insulin and carbs. I would be busy ordering medical supplies and taking Kyleigh to medical appointments. Uninterrupted nights of sleep would become impossible. I knew I could do it because I held the belief that life happens exactly as it should. I knew I was supposed to be her mom and supposed to be a parent of a diabetic child because that is what was happening. The universe didn’t make mistakes. But even with this confidence, I was in pain.

I felt a deep sadness and a profound sense of worry. I tried to limp along like an injured athlete who was ignoring an injury. In retrospect, I was bad at diagnosing my pain because doing so would be admitting something was wrong. I felt like admitting pain would be admitting weakness. I wanted to brush it off before someone caught on that I was injured. Instead of diagnosing it, my pain was left to fester.

We have the ability to react, resist, or process emotions. I was resisting experiencing my emotions and I sank deeper. This is similar to someone attempting to keep a beach ball under water: they may be successful keeping it below the water’s surface for a period of time, but eventually it would come flying up. As a doctor, I know that ignoring physical pain could create a bigger problem and it is more beneficial to figure out the underlying cause like an infection or fractured bone. I, though, continued to ignore my own emotional pain and witnessed it spread, impacting other areas of my life.

It is normal for parents of a child with chronic illness to feel pain. This pain is due to grieving the loss of a life that they had once anticipated and are now forced to embrace a different life. Pain is result of watching their child suffer and feeling that suffering through their recurring thoughts of worry. We are expected to be happy or excited for our child’s challenges. It is anticipated that we will feel this pain, but there is hope that it doesn’t define us. Becoming aware of cause of the pain and processing these emotions will prevent pain from consuming our lives.

I still feel sad that my daughter has diabetes and I still feel worried about her blood sugar highs and lows. I, though, do not let the pain from these emotions impact my relationships, my career, or my zest for life. I have processed the emotional pain and I thrive knowing that it is no longer kept below the water’s surface.

Do you manage your pain or does your pain manage you?

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